New year, a time when family and friends come together and celebrate the start of a new era, embraced and comforted around a warm fire. I couldn’t help but feel Joel’s party would seem a little different.

Ill start the story from the beginning as most stories do, with the exception of ‘The Never Ending Story’ and ‘Great Expectations‘, which wasn’t all I hoped for. The day had dragged, it was 2 o clock, I new in the back of my mind that nearly all the other peop’s were on their way to Joel’s. As I aimlessly walked around the multimedia section, I couldn’t help but think what might have been if I hadn’t been dragged to work……..

I could picture Lynch, known as the organiser, sitting in the front of Robs car with his map, AA route finder and binoculars, so determined to reach Joel’s. I could easily picture Rob, the golfer, raping his engine in order to get to the house and neck a bottle of Southern Comfort in one gulp. Images of Jeff, the rugby star and James, the bottleneck of the group, having a cracking conversation, involving plenty of laughter in the back plagued my mind over lunch.

I saw images of Nath, known as ‘some ejit just cut my hair’, laying into his bro Jordan for absolutely no reason whatsoever. I imagined Jordan, known as JORIAIDIOT, trying desperately to hurtle abuse back, but nobody in Loughborough could understand a fucking word the kid was saying!!!

Three agonising hours later, job done. Connell’s car is belting down the motorway. It seems Joe, known as gay boy or preferably Ice Man, is half way out of the car with one grip on the car door. At this point I question if this PURPLE piece of metal will get us there. The weight was unbearable. To the left I had Dougle, known as the sensible one, who was listing me with how he expects me to behave over the night. To the right I had Fred, known as the TWAT of the group, who filled me in on his latest round with Mike Tyson for the BSB title (Ball Shitting Bellend Title). We left Coventry at 7, we pull up outside Joel’s at 9pm. The house looks daunting. I turn to Joe, a cheeky yet very camp smile arises on his pale face. Screams of HHHIIIYYYAAA can be heard around Loughborough, we are here, everyone is here, lets get this party started.

Will the boys end 2006 on a good note. Will Joel’s house still be in one piece in the morning. Will ‘I Just Want to Party all the Time’ Make it to number one in 2007. Will Joe explain the camp smile, will Jordan ever become clear enough to understand, and will make complete badboy twats of ourselves by knocking on the wrong address?

To be Continued……………………………...